ako

I spent almost half of the day
“blind” yesterday.

So okay, I now know how patients
feel sometimes. I underwent a complete eye exam yesterday as part of my
application for an ophthalmology residency position. When I say complete eye
exam, it’s not just the basic five-point ophtha exam like the ones we conducted
during internship. They had to do applanation tonometry, refraction, slit lamp
exam, and a freaking indirect ophthalmoscopy. That last one meant they had to
dilate our pupils and we were forewarned not to attempt to go home by ourselves
because in all probability, we would have compromised eyesight for several
hours.

I’ve never had an extensive eye
exam before because I’ve never had eye problems.

Initially, it was okay, except
after the slit lamp exam, I was still seeing flashes of light. I had no idea it
would be that bright. And then for applanation tonometry, the doctor had to
anesthetize my cornea. It was way effective, I could see the tonometer
approaching but did not feel a thing when it was on my eye na. But afterwards
my eyes felt weird – as if I’d stuffed it with cotton. Hehe. Yeah I’ve heard of
cotton mouth, but have you heard of cotton eye? Haha. So anyway, at that point
I texted my sister so she and her boyfriend could start going to PGH to fetch
me na. Because by my estimation, it would take them an hour, and by that time
I’d be done with the indirect ophthalmoscopy. I had no idea they would be
coming from MOA lang. So there we were in the eye instrumentation clinic,
putting phenylephrine in each others’ respective eyes when she texted me “

Tara

na!”. Ha? My pupils weren’t even dilated yet.

So I started bugging Dom to put
eyedrops as often as I remembered, haha (that would range from 1 to 5 minutes).
But still, Mina, Dom and I, for some reason, took the longest to dilate. Some
of the people who came later than us finished sooner. We’d already finished the
bottle of phenylephrine (w/c in fairness, was shared with everyone else), and
still small pupils. The resident finally brought out his bottle of Sanmyd (w/c
is basically the same except it’s also got tropicamide). After several drops,
still not dilated enough. I was really tempted to put several drops in at once,
hehe. Finally when there were just three of us left and I could barely see the
bottle somebody came and decided my pupils were dilated enough. She asked me to
lie down in the clinic while she peeked into my eyes. Sounds simple? Well,
imagine lying down, and then someone would put lens in front of one eye and
then shine a really bright light into your eye such that it occupies your
entire field of vision. I could’ve sworn she just fried my retina. And then
that somebody will ask you to look up, down, left, right, straight ahead, and
then all that all over again. Felt like torture. I really wanted to close my
eyes but dyahe, I know how irritating that would be for the doctor. So she
shifted to the other eye, I really couldn’t take it anymore, my eye was almost
closed na so I felt her fingers prying my lids open, haha. She was unsure about
the findings, kinda felt like something was wrong with my eye so she went back
to the first eye. Still not satisfied, she went and called a senior to take a
look at me. And it’s the whole ordeal all over again. Now I know how a patient
feels when you pass them around. Finally it was over, my vision was soooo
weird. Everything was blurred and it looked like a violet haze was covering
everything. I couldn’t see much. After several seconds the violet haze was gone
but everything was still blurred. I couldn’t even read what the resident wrote
on my chart. Then my phone started buzzing…it’s my sister again, bugging me to
go down. And I couldn’t even read the message. Thing is, I couldn’t have anyone
read it for me because Dom and Mina were also in the same dilemma. I have the
art of texting without looking so I was able to reply but couldn’t read her
replies. On the other hand, I was too cheap to call, hehe. Kept telling her
“cant rid, jst guessing txt, pick me up at the lobby”. She kept replying
anyway, and did not show up at the lobby. We did that for almost one hour.
Haha. There were times when I was trying to produce a pinhole effect with my
hand, and it was kinda effective too. I was able to read some of her messages.

So anyway, we finally found each
other. Turns out they wanted to go to MOA again. So we went. But the glare was
killing me – my irises were still paralyzed in the dilated position. So even if
I looked stupid I wore sunglasses even while inside the mall. We left Jeff to
browse for whatever it was that he was shopping for. Liw and I went to
FullyBooked. Being something of a book fanatic (even if I haven’t been reading
much for the past few years), it was torture. I really wanted to look at the
books but could hardly read. So when I couldn’t take it anymore, I tried
producing the pinhole effect again with my hand. So I must’ve looked even
dumber. Imagine this – me, wearing sunglasses, standing with a book in one hand
at almost an arms length, with the other hand balled, with me peeking through the
center with one eye (just like you do when you’re a kid pretending to be
looking through a telescope). Gosh. Lots of books I want to buy. Anyway, I
didn’t buy anything because I could hardly read the blurbs on the back covers.
And I finally left the bookstore with a stinking headache. I wanted to puke.
Now I can also relate to people complaining of headaches cause they left their
glasses at home. And now, I can actually believe people when they tell me they
can’t read/see anything. And I thought everybody else just exaggerates. Hay.

Moral of the story: I’m a firm
believer in sucking it up and dealing with it when it comes to bodily
complaints. However, just as someone told me just recently – don’t knock it
till you’ve been through it. I’ll try to stop being judgmental, hehe.

I just edited my profile on friendster…and this is what I wrote about myself. Hehe. I like to keep things like this for posterity…just so I know how I’ve changed through time.

Fun MD just passed her board exams…currently applying for a residency position…went psycho for a while but has definitely recovered now…just realized she’s lived a very protected life…does not really know much about life in the big bad world…shy at first but crazy in the long term…exudes warmth to people she hangs with for short durations but can’t stand 24/7 interaction…has been told that she’s impatient (which she doesn’t deny anyway)…sweet but only in small doses…bitter - no more…very practical, with moments of temporary insanity for which she claims no responsibility for whatever words/actions (especially those related to dancing or texting)/and shopping she does…can’t stand commuting but does not know how to drive and has thus been forced to commute for the past year or so…selfish…self-centered…definitely loves herself…hah!

Hay naku, di na ko mag-eeffort
pagandahin to dahil pagod na ko.

O basta. Sinubukan kong matulog ng maaga kagabi para on time para sa lecture
kanina. May I say, nakatulog nga ako ng maaga pero di pa rin natupad ang
mithiin…

Unang-una, ang pangit ng panaginip ko. Tungkol sa isang dating manliligaw na sa
panaginip ko ay ka-date ko daw at may paakbay-akbay pa…at di ko lam kung
bakit kami magkasama dahil sa panaginip ko ay miserable ako na kasama siya at
inaaway ko siya. There were even moments sa dream na nag-iisip ako na “Teka,
kami na ba nito?”. Haha. At sobrang disgust yung nafeel ko sa panaginip.
Kakaasar pa dahil sobrang detailed, parang totoo! Ewan ko kung bakit ganun e di
naman talaga ko nandidiri sa kaniya, tipong hopeless case lang talaga siya sa kin.
Naasar tuloy ako sa taong yun pag naaalala ko. Clue, fairly recent yun guy.

Hay, kaasar. Yan tuloy ayoko tumayo agad kaninang umaga dahil feeling ko
sobrang napagod ako sa panaginip na yun. Anyway, pasok ako papuntang PGH,
kampante pa dahil may time to spare before 8 am. Nag-taxi pa ko para di ma-late
at makapili pa ng upuan. 7:45 andun na ko. Akalain mo ba naman pagdating ko ay
nagsimula na pala ang lecture! Dahil sa katangahan ko, di ko tinignan ang sked,
ngayon pala ang katangi-tanging araw na 7 ang simula at hindi 8. Sa likod tuloy
ako napaupo, kung saan masikip, walang arm rest, at mahina ang speakers. Kaasar
talaga. At least di lang ako ang nagkamali! Pero ayan tuloy, konti lang
natutunan ko today…

At during the lecture, nagtext ang ate ko, nagpapasama sa CCP ng 7 pm para
manood ng preview ng musical na "Mulan". Since ako ay kaladkarin,
payag naman ako. Pero since mga 4 matatapos ang lecture at siya ay manggagaling
pa ng Cavite, e di kailangan magpalipas ng oras…ang balak ko sana ay bumili ng
libro/magazine at tumambay sa Starbucks sa Rob Manila. Kaya lang oo nga pala at
sarado na ang Starbucks dun. Kaya nag-ikot-ikot na lang ako sa mga
bookstores/magazine stand – back issue, national book store, book sale,
powerbooks, book sale ulit, national ulit…Ang nabili ko lang ay “Atlas
Shrugged” ni Ayn Rand. Nireccomend kasi ni Kim, e naisip ko kung available siya
at makita ko, bibilhin ko na lang din. I was thinking it’d be a welcome change
from all the med stuff and kid stuff that I’ve been reading lately. Hay,

sana

mabasa ko. Anyway, I
found myself looking for the chick lit I’ve been seeing on cosmo on breaking up
– “Who Stole My Magic”. Pero apparently it’s still sold out daw. Ah ganun, dami
palang sawi sa mundo. Also found “The Breakup Diaries” by Maya Calica (Php 150,
pde din bilhin dun sa buy 2 books get 1 free na promo), and “It’s Called A
Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Breakup Buddy” by Greg and Amiira
Behrendt (around Php 300 ata). I wanted to buy those books

sana

but I had second thoughts. First, I have
no salary and I’m hoping to go out with my girlfriends tomorrow so I have no
right to spend. Second, I don’t think it’s worth it to spend that much on my
therapy…I’m waiting for someone to give me those books as gifts! (Hint, hint! Friends,
my birthday is still technically last month lang, and I just passed the boards!
Hehe) It’d be a great gift especially if you’re getting tired of me bemoaning
my current state…I browsed the latter book and it’s full of advice that I
probably know already, but I just need to have those words said to me! So
please! (hehehe)

Anyway…I finally left National
Bookstore and had a sudden urge to use a different route through the mall, and
I ended up right smack in front of the Greenpeace booth. Again, I thought it’d
be a nice change…so I signed up. I didn’t know I’d have to contribute at least
200 monthly…and I’d have to use a credit card or a debit system with a bank. I
had a bit of a problem because I have no bank account (the last time I had one
was in high school, I think), and my credit card is a subsidiary (is that the
correct term?) of my mom’s. But the cause is so worthy, I signed up anyway,
using mom’s credit card. Sorry mama, haha (I still have to tell her).

By the time I got to CCP I was
freaking tired (and the Taxi driver was trying to scam me). Met up with my
sister and the moment we got inside I found out my left sandal was broken – the
left sole was “smiling” (I swear it was perfectly fine when I left home). So I
had to walk by dragging my left foot so that the sole wouldn’t hang down. Talk
about embarrassing. The play was entertaining enough (it was funny although I
believe a lot of the things we laughed at were not supposed to be funny…hmmm).
Half-baked, but that was expected. Sneak peek pa lang yun e. The actual
production is bound to be much better (or at least one hopes). Anyway,
afterward I convinced my sister to feed me at Pancake House in

Harbor Square

.
Before crossing the street, I had a mentos moment and found a pony tail to wrap
around my sandal so the sole wouldn’t flap around. However, while crossing the
street it started slipping so I tripped quite a few times. I decided to hang on
to my sister and pretend that I’d just sprained my ankle so that everyone
wouldn’t laugh at the funny way I was walking. Once at Pancake House I tried a
few tricks with the pony tail but my sister finally asked the waitress for
scotch tape. Haha.

That didn’t end there, though.
When we were walking out of the parking lot (commute lang kami, I still don’t
drive yet), the darned top strap gave way so I again had to drag my left foot.
And again I slipped a couple of times and my sister was laughing like crazy.
Then we crossed the street and guess what? The top strap of the other sandal
gave way too! At ayun ako, desperate to get home with at least something
between my feet and the ground. I was hoping to get on a vehicle with vacant
seats because I was afraid the sandals would give way totally. But no, I ended
up on a crowded bus, which was SRO. And the guy who got on after me kept
stepping on my feet. Argh! Talk about a day where so many things went wrong!

But I’m still not complaining. My
sister just said I should write about it ‘cause she found it hilarious. I
complied because I have the time. I’m not complaining because I found out there
are so much more to be thankful for – like having a sister who’s willing to
spend for dinner, and getting home in one piece even if my shoes weren’t. God
is so good and He shows it in ways that we don’t always appreciate. And these
days, I think I have been so unappreciative (I’ve been focusing on moping about
having no male attention, haha), it really is a sin na. So I’m refocusing and
will start nurturing a thankful heart again.

That’s odd…this started out as a rant…hmmm.
Doesn’t this blog sound half-finished?

I haven’t slept for almost 36 hours now because of a false alarm about the release of board exams yesterday. It was only released tonight. Anyway, I’ll write about that in another post. For now, this is a quickie blog, just to express my boundless gratitude to God for being so faithful and true, and sticking to what we had agreed on, even if there were times when I was the one who was not fulfilling my part. God is good. God is true.

He told me He’d take care of me even if I didn’t prepare that well for the boards. As long as I obeyed Him. There were certain things in my life and in myself that I had to change and focus on, and that’s what I tried to do. I did my best not to worry. I laid it all before Him. And come exam time, I was one of the most relaxed and composed examinees. I guess I got worried only after the exams, hence my previous post. But God was faithful even if I wasn’t. And He forgave me for my fickleness.

Oh Lord, this victory is all Yours. I could never have done it without You. And all the glory I offer to You.

Tama nga ang sabi sa Matthew 6:33 - "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you".

Praise God!

Okay, how should
I start? Several hours after taking the last exam for the boards and I find
myself staring at the computer screen again. I’ve been thinking of writing this
while I was taking the exam. Yes, while taking the exam. I was distracted the
whole time. But now that I’m actually here, I can’t seem to write what I had in
mind earlier…

Anyway, I feel
strange. Or at least I think I do. Or maybe it’s that I don’t really feel
anything and I think that’s strange. It’s like I don’t really care but I do. In
my mind I do but I don’t seem to feel anything. Except maybe sleepiness, which
is starting to settle in right now. Maybe I should take that as a sign that I’m
not supposed to be doing this right now. I’ve uploaded some pics which my
cousin and I took immediately after I arrived home from the exam and at my
Lola’s birthday (which is also today). Let the pictures speak for themselves I
guess, hehe.

After a 2-hour break…

I’m back. Now
what did I want to say? Here goes…I didn’t review for the boards. Just browsed
through several books but never finished any of them (except the non-academic
ones, haha). I had samplexes but barely looked at them. Anybody at home would
probably say I studied ‘cause I’m good at pretending. I’d open a book and stare
at the same page for 3 hours. It was no use trying, my mind kept straying to
one thing, and one thing only (which I have no intention of divulging). So
eventually I gave up. Initially I’d just lay there, feeling too guilty to do
anything else because I knew I should be studying. So I wouldn’t even attempt
to turn on the TV or the computer. My only other allowable thing was to read
the bible or something related. Eventually I had to give in because as the exam
date drew near, the recurrent thoughts kept getting stronger so I thought I had
to do something to get it out of my mind. Because it’s something I desperately
want to get out of my system. So notice how active my Multiply and Friendster
accounts have been for the past few weeks.

Effective ba?
Not really because sometimes whatever I did online was somehow related, even if
very remote, basta related, to what I had been thinking about for three months
now. Yesterday ko lang naisip na mag-focus sa old schools ko na lang. Things
that were never associated with that “recurring thought”. It was effective for
several hours, while I was online. But when I got off, ayun na ulit.

Even during the
exam, these weird thoughts kept popping into my head. I would sometimes catch
myself daydreaming IN THE MIDDLE OF THE EXAM! I had to slap myself awake
several times during the exam today. It really bothered me. It still bothers
me. It bothers me that I let it bother me. Whaaat???

I have a couple
of days to wait for the results and I have no idea what to do in the meantime.
I’ve had a couple of invitations to drinking sprees but I’m in no mood and I
feel too guilty to even think of doing it. And I have no idea what to do after
the boards either, whatever the result may be.

The fact is, if
I fail, it’ll be all my fault. While taking the exams, I noticed how I was sure
of less than 50% of the answers. And more than 50% of the time, I had no idea
what the question was all about, I couldn’t even make an intelligent guess. And
it’s all because of what I’d done. But my family is confident because we’d all
prayed about it. So the fact is, if I pass, I know it won’t have anything to do
with whatever I did…it’ll purely be a miracle. Oh God, please give me a
miracle.

The fact is,
right now, I don’t even feel scared or anxious. But my mind seems to want to
be. All this time, throughout the board exam period, I’d remained calm and I
believe I have God to thank for that. I’m not really worried right now but
somehow my mind wants to think about it and about what ifs…although I think I
shouldn’t. It won’t do any good anyway. Not even when the results are out na.

Whatever
happens, all I know is, God has been faithful even if I hadn’t been. I know
He’ll take care of me. I’ll let it go now.

Time to let go
of THAT thought too. If only I could reformat my brain.

Yes, today is the day after my birthday (and coincidentally, the day before the board exams!). Thank you to all the people who took the time to greet me. From the first (which would be the people who greeted 1 day before, first of whom was Aina - coz she wanted to greet in advance, then Joy and Fer - coz they got my bday mixed up with Maws’s, and then my Auntie Let - coz she wanted to be first), to the last (so far, it’s Kai, don’t know if anybody still wants to send a belated message, hehe). Oh, but I forgot, the first one to greet me was my niece Arah pala coz she sent me a message a full 12 days ahead of my day. Followed by Fia, Gene, and Antoinette.

Anyway, I appreciate all the greetings. Some were expected – I wouldn’t have forgiven them if they’d forgotten! Haha. While others were surprise messages from people whom I’d expected to forget, or did not expect to remember, or did not think would care to greet. Thaaaank you. Those messages made my day. Although of course there were a couple of persons I was hoping to hear from, hearing from all the others more than made up for that. Far be it from me to allow the absence of a few greetings overshadow the tons of greetings I got. It’d be like focusing on the one black dot on an otherwise white piece of cloth. Anyway, that’s done.  To keep from thinking bad thoughts (hehe), I instead I focused on having fun. And fun I had.

The day was kinda slow, but with the messages I had to deal with, it progressed well. Then I had to go to PRC to check my exam venue, and then went back home. I was expecting only a handful of guests ‘cause I didn’t really invite anybody till around 5 pm. Only my cousins had said they would come before I started inviting people, and that was because we had a gathering at our home every Thursday. I wasn’t expecting a party until I found out Manang Edith had already cooked loads of food. So I had to find people who would be sure to come so that no food would be wasted. At first I told only my grandparents and two or three other people coz I thought there wouldn’t be enough food. Then told a couple more. People started trickling in around 6:30. But until around 7:30 there was still so few (not counting the people who actually live in our house). I felt like things weren’t as fun and time was passing so sloooooowly. When we started eating it was only the people who live with me plus lolo, lola, and Kuya Emil. Then after a long while came Ate Mhar, Migs, and Maggi, then Brean and Rizza. But come 8 PM everybody started arriving altogether! And then I was overwhelmed! And then I started really enjoying myself na. One thing I’ve learned about myself, I am usually shy with people that I am not used to, but I thrive in social situations with people that I am absolutely comfortable with. I even had fun doing the serving – making the iced tea, serving the ice cream, making sure everyone was eating – things that I wouldn’t ordinarily enjoy. Hehe. My sister arrived late because of night school so it felt for a while like I was having a birthday party all to myself!

The good thing about the people who came is that there is no need for anything fancy to please them. They are easy to please, and also eager to have fun (and also contribute to the fun). No need for alcohol or videoke. Just good old food and talk. I love these guys.

Anyway, my dad eventually had to tell me to go to sleep coz I had to start sleeping early so I’d be ready for the board exams so I had to retire even if I still had a couple of guests. My sister was left to tend to them. What a day it was.

I went to bed but was unable to sleep until around 2 hours after lying down – a problem I’ve had for a while. Partly also because I was waiting for late bday greetings, hehe. But overall, it was a fun night. Wish I could’ve invited a few more but that party was definitely not planned. My poor Manang Edith was sick but cooked just the same. Right now she’s in bed, trying to get better.

What made my day: birthday greetings, gifts (especially cash, hehe), birthday calls (top of the list: Janet’s overseas call from  Shanghai, China! She was my bestfriend during elementary and I was really not expecting a call. Maybe just an e-mail, coz I knew she was abroad! She was also the first to call me. Others would be Andre, Ate Michelle Ten-ten, and Rajah! Sorry if I forgot anybody), and getting a cheesecake! Hihi!

One thing to remember, birthdays should always be remembered because you never know if it’ll be the last. I have to admit, I am pretty bad at remembering. But the sad truth is that everybody at some point has a last birthday, you just never know when. So take advantage of birthdays. I took advantage of mine by telling the people whom I love, who greeted me that I love them. Thank God for this birthday! I hope for more to come, hehe!

    It’s that time of the year again! It’s my birthday so forgive me for being a bit sentimental…or mental, hehe. Anyway, I’m officially 24 today and only now has it sunken in that I am actually in my twenties already…kinda late, huh? And only now do I realize that yes, I am no longer a girl. Blame it on the fact that only these days do I really consider myself done with school – I actually have just the board exams to pass and then I’m a free agent. And that it is no longer acceptable that I remain fully dependent on my parents because I will soon have earning ability (although the truth of the matter is that they still hold the purse strings…)

    It is quite a relief to finally come into one’s own. But then you realize that you still have further training ahead and so will probably not be fully independent until a couple of years after starting your own practice. Oh life. Until a couple of months back, I still thought of myself as a girl. I often referred to my blockmates as kids. Maybe it’s just me, but it’s probably because I never took things seriously because I was still doing the lowest jobs in the hospital and at the same time taking exams still, and was still being referred to as a student (I took full advantage by paying student fares in public vehicles, hehe). Anyway, yes, it still has to sink in that I am a woman na…but that should have happened when I turned 18!

    It’s funny but just a year ago nobody ever mentioned me getting married (although they often joked about getting a boyfriend). They actually usually said, “wag muna”. But just this month, I’ve had several references to my being of marrying age! Huh? Didn’t they get the memo that I just broke up with my boyfriend?

    My lolo seems to be determined to marry me off, hehe. When we had a family devotion, he talked about things that will change once we each have our own families, how we won’t be able to spend as much time with them, etc…and he finished it off with – si Ada, mag-aasawa na, si Jasam, pupunta nang America…. Waaaait a minute! None of my siblings are married and I’m not the eldest. Why start the wedding list with me? And he actually ended it with me ‘coz he never mentioned anybody else getting married – which of course got my older sister’s goat! And then back when I had a boyfriend a couple of people brought up the fact that I am of the age that can get married without parental consent. My father promptly replied, “Subukan niya”. Barely 1 month into the relationship and my churchmates are already thinking about marriage? Funny. Well, I have nobody in mind, and I have nobody waiting, so there!

    Anyway, this is a funny age to be. I’m not quite there, but I’m heading somewhere, just not quite sure where. Other people my age have jobs, several have started their own families. But when I think about myself, I still think I’m a kid, everybody just grew up faster. Hehe.

    I don’t know how other people see me. Quite a few still see me as I was when I was a shy little kid. Some think I’m all woman. Some don’t even see me as a female, hahahaha. But one woman who’s known me since I was in gradeschool says she finds it hard to believe I’m actually a doctor na coz I still act like a child. Or is it just because I look young? Hehe. But yes, I am a doctor. And yes, I still act like a child (my poor ex could probably testify to that). But no, I’m not a child anymore. Have to keep reminding myself of that. But yes, I can remain a child at heart, can’t I?

    When you get to this age, you can expect less gifts from people. Although several remain thoughtful. Sometimes it’s actually a measure of how thoughtful you’d been in the first place (ang magreregalo lang yung mga niregaluhan mo dati). So that means hmmm…less than ten gifts for me this year? Hehe. Let’s see! It’s hard for somebody like me, who’s always had just enough cash to go to school. Hopefully things will change soon. That’d be great ‘coz I love giving gifts. Really. Oo. Totoo. No joke. Hehe. But it is true, it feels great to give gifts.

    At this age you also get less greetings. When I still had to go to school, somebody would inevitably tell everybody else in class, including the teacher, that it was my birthday. When I was in gradeschool we’d write a huge bday greeting on the blackboard whenever somebody had a birthday. When I was in college and the cellphone was still relatively new, and everybody was still missing high school, all my high school friends (and even acquaintances) were faithful in remembering and greeting me on my birthday. Nowadays, things have changed. My old blockmates from college are mostly engrossed with board exam preparations so they probably won’t remember (except for my barkada, whom I won’t forgive if they forget! Haha). A lot of my highschool friends are busy with work or whatever and some have lost touch. Haaay. Time was when I had to clear lots of space in my inbox for bday greetings. But it’s good though, ‘coz you get to see who remains thoughtful and true

    But let’s see, what’s the point of having a birthday? It’s a day to remember all the good that the Lord has done for you. I’ve never had a birthday all to myself because I was born on my sister’s third birthday. And during high school I shared a birthday with one of my classmates and even had to share a birthday card with him. I think that’s good because it means somebody will always remember my birthday! Hehe. And happiness shared means double the happiness! In my case, it’s triple the happiness coz there are three of us! So that’s one thing I thank God for.

    I also thank God for blessing me with a complete family. For my medical education. And for bringing so many wonderful people into my life. I thank Him for health and well-being. I thank Him for never leaving me even when I struggle against Him. I thank Him for being born a Filipino, and so I have a beautiful opportunity to serve my country. Well, I could go on and on but I have to stop writing so I can get ready to go to PRC na.

    Twenty-four. It’s a disconcerting age to suddenly wake up to, realizing that a chapter of your life has really ended. And that new and more exciting things are about to come. Things that wouldn’t be possible without finishing that old chapter.

    Board exams in two days! Woohoo!

    Happy birthday to the three of us!

Dapat nag-aaral ako. Pero dalawang buwan nang halos hindi nag-aaral. AAAAAArgh! Ang makabasa nito, please pray for me :p

Somebody sent me a message reacting to my old blog (hi kim!). "Walang kwenta", she said, ‘coz she didn’t get anything new about me from what I posted. But isn’t that just what I said sa blog???

I’m not really a blogger. First, I don’t have the time. Second, writing about myself all the time, although enjoyable, might get me back into the mode where I think everything I have to say is important. I was just like that in high school and college and I think everyone deserves a break from me. Haha. Third, I talk about myself waaaay too much. Writing about myself will just make things worse. Fourth, because I’m always stuck in the hospital, I can’t really talk about much except myself, my patients, how the hospital sucks, how the hospital staff sucks, and gossip about the hospital people. Nothing new ever really happens to me. You’d probably be interested only if you see me everyday, if you’re in the medical field, or if you were face to face with me and had to pretend you were interested. Or maybe you’d be interested if I became way too animated with my stories and all my weird expressions and mannerisms came up full-force.

I’m not into pouring my heart out in the web for all the people to see. So you’re not getting news about my crushes and loves and heartbreaks unless it’s about somebody totally unattainable. Like Edward Norton. Unless maybe if it were something major, like getting MARRIED! Haha. And that’s not happening in a loooong while. Have to get a boyfriend first, hehe.

Maybe all you’d get from my blog will be my complaints. And believe me, I can complain about anything if I wanted to. It’d be fun for me, but it might be tiresome for you.

For news about me on the net, you’d have to read my posts, my profile, my testimonials, or anything you can find on me, and piece things together as best as you can. And chances are, it wouldn’t be up-to-date (unless I’ve got too much time on my hands, like now). That is, unless I get sooo into talking about myself again and started to write a mini-bio. Haha.

So for anybody interested in catching up with me, all you’d have to do is call me up, text me, or set a lunch/dinner date with me so we can talk face to face. But then scheduling would be a problem. And again, I can’t talk about much outside of the topics enumerated above. I’m not saying anything in this blog that might be too personal. So there.

Old friends, I started this blog because I was bored one night (and that’s rare ‘cause most of my nights aren’t free). I don’t even respond to most of the mail I receive, how could you expect me to keep an up-to-date blog? I don’t even keep a journal. Well…I do but I only write around once or twice a year. And hey. I don’t even read blogs. The ones that are advertised in friendster are usually written poorly or by people I’m simply not interested in. I don’t have enough time to search for the blogs of the people I like. (So maybe if you think I’d be interested, send me your URL na lang.)

If you’re even reading this, you must be: a) really curious about me, b) haven’t heard from me in a loooong while, c) a bum and have too much time on your hands, d) a stalker, e) all of the above. Haha!

So there, check out my blog next time if you’re still interested. Otherwise, I don’t really care. I’ll continue to write whatever I want, ha!