ako

Oh gosh, I’m having so much fun in facebook. Haha. I just discovered
the I Kick You application - it’s got me in stitches! You put the
picture of your friend there, adjust it, then kick. Then watch him/her
fly through the air with this weird, tiny, screaming voice ("aaaaaah").
Then watch them bounce off the ground. Hahaha.

So far, I’ve kicked, aina, chuckie, cheryll, and kim! Hahaha
Gosh, I think I should grow up!

I spent almost half of the day
“blind” yesterday.

So okay, I now know how patients
feel sometimes. I underwent a complete eye exam yesterday as part of my
application for an ophthalmology residency position. When I say complete eye
exam, it’s not just the basic five-point ophtha exam like the ones we conducted
during internship. They had to do applanation tonometry, refraction, slit lamp
exam, and a freaking indirect ophthalmoscopy. That last one meant they had to
dilate our pupils and we were forewarned not to attempt to go home by ourselves
because in all probability, we would have compromised eyesight for several
hours.

I’ve never had an extensive eye
exam before because I’ve never had eye problems.

Initially, it was okay, except
after the slit lamp exam, I was still seeing flashes of light. I had no idea it
would be that bright. And then for applanation tonometry, the doctor had to
anesthetize my cornea. It was way effective, I could see the tonometer
approaching but did not feel a thing when it was on my eye na. But afterwards
my eyes felt weird – as if I’d stuffed it with cotton. Hehe. Yeah I’ve heard of
cotton mouth, but have you heard of cotton eye? Haha. So anyway, at that point
I texted my sister so she and her boyfriend could start going to PGH to fetch
me na. Because by my estimation, it would take them an hour, and by that time
I’d be done with the indirect ophthalmoscopy. I had no idea they would be
coming from MOA lang. So there we were in the eye instrumentation clinic,
putting phenylephrine in each others’ respective eyes when she texted me “

Tara

na!”. Ha? My pupils weren’t even dilated yet.

So I started bugging Dom to put
eyedrops as often as I remembered, haha (that would range from 1 to 5 minutes).
But still, Mina, Dom and I, for some reason, took the longest to dilate. Some
of the people who came later than us finished sooner. We’d already finished the
bottle of phenylephrine (w/c in fairness, was shared with everyone else), and
still small pupils. The resident finally brought out his bottle of Sanmyd (w/c
is basically the same except it’s also got tropicamide). After several drops,
still not dilated enough. I was really tempted to put several drops in at once,
hehe. Finally when there were just three of us left and I could barely see the
bottle somebody came and decided my pupils were dilated enough. She asked me to
lie down in the clinic while she peeked into my eyes. Sounds simple? Well,
imagine lying down, and then someone would put lens in front of one eye and
then shine a really bright light into your eye such that it occupies your
entire field of vision. I could’ve sworn she just fried my retina. And then
that somebody will ask you to look up, down, left, right, straight ahead, and
then all that all over again. Felt like torture. I really wanted to close my
eyes but dyahe, I know how irritating that would be for the doctor. So she
shifted to the other eye, I really couldn’t take it anymore, my eye was almost
closed na so I felt her fingers prying my lids open, haha. She was unsure about
the findings, kinda felt like something was wrong with my eye so she went back
to the first eye. Still not satisfied, she went and called a senior to take a
look at me. And it’s the whole ordeal all over again. Now I know how a patient
feels when you pass them around. Finally it was over, my vision was soooo
weird. Everything was blurred and it looked like a violet haze was covering
everything. I couldn’t see much. After several seconds the violet haze was gone
but everything was still blurred. I couldn’t even read what the resident wrote
on my chart. Then my phone started buzzing…it’s my sister again, bugging me to
go down. And I couldn’t even read the message. Thing is, I couldn’t have anyone
read it for me because Dom and Mina were also in the same dilemma. I have the
art of texting without looking so I was able to reply but couldn’t read her
replies. On the other hand, I was too cheap to call, hehe. Kept telling her
“cant rid, jst guessing txt, pick me up at the lobby”. She kept replying
anyway, and did not show up at the lobby. We did that for almost one hour.
Haha. There were times when I was trying to produce a pinhole effect with my
hand, and it was kinda effective too. I was able to read some of her messages.

So anyway, we finally found each
other. Turns out they wanted to go to MOA again. So we went. But the glare was
killing me – my irises were still paralyzed in the dilated position. So even if
I looked stupid I wore sunglasses even while inside the mall. We left Jeff to
browse for whatever it was that he was shopping for. Liw and I went to
FullyBooked. Being something of a book fanatic (even if I haven’t been reading
much for the past few years), it was torture. I really wanted to look at the
books but could hardly read. So when I couldn’t take it anymore, I tried
producing the pinhole effect again with my hand. So I must’ve looked even
dumber. Imagine this – me, wearing sunglasses, standing with a book in one hand
at almost an arms length, with the other hand balled, with me peeking through the
center with one eye (just like you do when you’re a kid pretending to be
looking through a telescope). Gosh. Lots of books I want to buy. Anyway, I
didn’t buy anything because I could hardly read the blurbs on the back covers.
And I finally left the bookstore with a stinking headache. I wanted to puke.
Now I can also relate to people complaining of headaches cause they left their
glasses at home. And now, I can actually believe people when they tell me they
can’t read/see anything. And I thought everybody else just exaggerates. Hay.

Moral of the story: I’m a firm
believer in sucking it up and dealing with it when it comes to bodily
complaints. However, just as someone told me just recently – don’t knock it
till you’ve been through it. I’ll try to stop being judgmental, hehe.

I just edited my profile on friendster…and this is what I wrote about myself. Hehe. I like to keep things like this for posterity…just so I know how I’ve changed through time.

Fun MD just passed her board exams…currently applying for a residency position…went psycho for a while but has definitely recovered now…just realized she’s lived a very protected life…does not really know much about life in the big bad world…shy at first but crazy in the long term…exudes warmth to people she hangs with for short durations but can’t stand 24/7 interaction…has been told that she’s impatient (which she doesn’t deny anyway)…sweet but only in small doses…bitter - no more…very practical, with moments of temporary insanity for which she claims no responsibility for whatever words/actions (especially those related to dancing or texting)/and shopping she does…can’t stand commuting but does not know how to drive and has thus been forced to commute for the past year or so…selfish…self-centered…definitely loves herself…hah!

Hay naku, di na ko mag-eeffort
pagandahin to dahil pagod na ko.

O basta. Sinubukan kong matulog ng maaga kagabi para on time para sa lecture
kanina. May I say, nakatulog nga ako ng maaga pero di pa rin natupad ang
mithiin…

Unang-una, ang pangit ng panaginip ko. Tungkol sa isang dating manliligaw na sa
panaginip ko ay ka-date ko daw at may paakbay-akbay pa…at di ko lam kung
bakit kami magkasama dahil sa panaginip ko ay miserable ako na kasama siya at
inaaway ko siya. There were even moments sa dream na nag-iisip ako na “Teka,
kami na ba nito?”. Haha. At sobrang disgust yung nafeel ko sa panaginip.
Kakaasar pa dahil sobrang detailed, parang totoo! Ewan ko kung bakit ganun e di
naman talaga ko nandidiri sa kaniya, tipong hopeless case lang talaga siya sa kin.
Naasar tuloy ako sa taong yun pag naaalala ko. Clue, fairly recent yun guy.

Hay, kaasar. Yan tuloy ayoko tumayo agad kaninang umaga dahil feeling ko
sobrang napagod ako sa panaginip na yun. Anyway, pasok ako papuntang PGH,
kampante pa dahil may time to spare before 8 am. Nag-taxi pa ko para di ma-late
at makapili pa ng upuan. 7:45 andun na ko. Akalain mo ba naman pagdating ko ay
nagsimula na pala ang lecture! Dahil sa katangahan ko, di ko tinignan ang sked,
ngayon pala ang katangi-tanging araw na 7 ang simula at hindi 8. Sa likod tuloy
ako napaupo, kung saan masikip, walang arm rest, at mahina ang speakers. Kaasar
talaga. At least di lang ako ang nagkamali! Pero ayan tuloy, konti lang
natutunan ko today…

At during the lecture, nagtext ang ate ko, nagpapasama sa CCP ng 7 pm para
manood ng preview ng musical na "Mulan". Since ako ay kaladkarin,
payag naman ako. Pero since mga 4 matatapos ang lecture at siya ay manggagaling
pa ng Cavite, e di kailangan magpalipas ng oras…ang balak ko sana ay bumili ng
libro/magazine at tumambay sa Starbucks sa Rob Manila. Kaya lang oo nga pala at
sarado na ang Starbucks dun. Kaya nag-ikot-ikot na lang ako sa mga
bookstores/magazine stand – back issue, national book store, book sale,
powerbooks, book sale ulit, national ulit…Ang nabili ko lang ay “Atlas
Shrugged” ni Ayn Rand. Nireccomend kasi ni Kim, e naisip ko kung available siya
at makita ko, bibilhin ko na lang din. I was thinking it’d be a welcome change
from all the med stuff and kid stuff that I’ve been reading lately. Hay,

sana

mabasa ko. Anyway, I
found myself looking for the chick lit I’ve been seeing on cosmo on breaking up
– “Who Stole My Magic”. Pero apparently it’s still sold out daw. Ah ganun, dami
palang sawi sa mundo. Also found “The Breakup Diaries” by Maya Calica (Php 150,
pde din bilhin dun sa buy 2 books get 1 free na promo), and “It’s Called A
Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Breakup Buddy” by Greg and Amiira
Behrendt (around Php 300 ata). I wanted to buy those books

sana

but I had second thoughts. First, I have
no salary and I’m hoping to go out with my girlfriends tomorrow so I have no
right to spend. Second, I don’t think it’s worth it to spend that much on my
therapy…I’m waiting for someone to give me those books as gifts! (Hint, hint! Friends,
my birthday is still technically last month lang, and I just passed the boards!
Hehe) It’d be a great gift especially if you’re getting tired of me bemoaning
my current state…I browsed the latter book and it’s full of advice that I
probably know already, but I just need to have those words said to me! So
please! (hehehe)

Anyway…I finally left National
Bookstore and had a sudden urge to use a different route through the mall, and
I ended up right smack in front of the Greenpeace booth. Again, I thought it’d
be a nice change…so I signed up. I didn’t know I’d have to contribute at least
200 monthly…and I’d have to use a credit card or a debit system with a bank. I
had a bit of a problem because I have no bank account (the last time I had one
was in high school, I think), and my credit card is a subsidiary (is that the
correct term?) of my mom’s. But the cause is so worthy, I signed up anyway,
using mom’s credit card. Sorry mama, haha (I still have to tell her).

By the time I got to CCP I was
freaking tired (and the Taxi driver was trying to scam me). Met up with my
sister and the moment we got inside I found out my left sandal was broken – the
left sole was “smiling” (I swear it was perfectly fine when I left home). So I
had to walk by dragging my left foot so that the sole wouldn’t hang down. Talk
about embarrassing. The play was entertaining enough (it was funny although I
believe a lot of the things we laughed at were not supposed to be funny…hmmm).
Half-baked, but that was expected. Sneak peek pa lang yun e. The actual
production is bound to be much better (or at least one hopes). Anyway,
afterward I convinced my sister to feed me at Pancake House in

Harbor Square

.
Before crossing the street, I had a mentos moment and found a pony tail to wrap
around my sandal so the sole wouldn’t flap around. However, while crossing the
street it started slipping so I tripped quite a few times. I decided to hang on
to my sister and pretend that I’d just sprained my ankle so that everyone
wouldn’t laugh at the funny way I was walking. Once at Pancake House I tried a
few tricks with the pony tail but my sister finally asked the waitress for
scotch tape. Haha.

That didn’t end there, though.
When we were walking out of the parking lot (commute lang kami, I still don’t
drive yet), the darned top strap gave way so I again had to drag my left foot.
And again I slipped a couple of times and my sister was laughing like crazy.
Then we crossed the street and guess what? The top strap of the other sandal
gave way too! At ayun ako, desperate to get home with at least something
between my feet and the ground. I was hoping to get on a vehicle with vacant
seats because I was afraid the sandals would give way totally. But no, I ended
up on a crowded bus, which was SRO. And the guy who got on after me kept
stepping on my feet. Argh! Talk about a day where so many things went wrong!

But I’m still not complaining. My
sister just said I should write about it ‘cause she found it hilarious. I
complied because I have the time. I’m not complaining because I found out there
are so much more to be thankful for – like having a sister who’s willing to
spend for dinner, and getting home in one piece even if my shoes weren’t. God
is so good and He shows it in ways that we don’t always appreciate. And these
days, I think I have been so unappreciative (I’ve been focusing on moping about
having no male attention, haha), it really is a sin na. So I’m refocusing and
will start nurturing a thankful heart again.

That’s odd…this started out as a rant…hmmm.
Doesn’t this blog sound half-finished?